Laughing At Myself (Or Dying Of Embarrassment)

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Laughing At Myself (Or Dying Of Embarrassment)

Random musings, curing perfectionism, and silencing my inner book snobWe’re three days into National Blog Posting Month and I am surprised at how much easier it feels to get into the blogging mindset. Already. I had hoped that writing daily would help, but I had no idea that it would make me look forward to writing, even on days when I lack motivation.

Why is that?

I can only guess that it has something to do with the fact that I have taken a more relaxed approach to my writing style. Before, it would take me several hours to work through one post because I felt like it had to be completely perfect, send exactly the right message, and be delivered in precisely the right manner.

Did I mention I’m a perfectionist?

Now, it’s not that I don’t care how my message is received, but my lack of time to ponder over every little detail makes it easier for me to accept the fact that I may have a spelling error, misplaced comma, or forget to include something in my post. I still spend too much time proofreading, but not as much. I can fix my mistakes later, add anything I may have forgotten, and just keep going. I am offering up more of myself in my writing, and oh man, it feels good.

Writing every day also makes me realize that once I find another job away from home, I should still be able to manage a blog and my other creative projects. It won’t be easy, and there may be days when I want to rip my hair out. But maybe it’s possible. Letting go of perfectionism frees up a lot of time, apparently.

I’ve started reading as many of the posts from other NaBloPoMo participants as I can, and it has been wonderful to see so many people talking about the books they are reading or audiobooks they are listening to. I’ve thought about sharing what I am reading, as this is something I have selectively done in the past.

That is, when I wasn’t too embarrassed to share. I know that makes it sound like I listen to raunchy, X-rated novels, but that’s actually not it at all. I read all the 50 Shades books and am not even remotely embarrassed by that. Maybe I would be if they had any emotional impact whatsoever and I didn’t think that they were just overrated toilet paper.

Whoa, that was harsh. I am almost sorry for saying that.

No, the thing that I am somewhat embarrassed by is that I mostly listen to books that are listed as Young Adult, despite being much older than the average YA audience. Sometimes I’ll mix things up with a decent romance or mystery novel. Evidently, there is a snob living in my brain who thinks those types of books are beneath her and has no intention of sharing such embarrassing secrets with the world.

The fact is, I’m smart enough to read and understand more intellectual books. I just don’t want to. I want to escape to another world, be entertained, and not have to think too hard about what I am hearing or reading. I think enough in the real world, and that’s exhausting enough.

I am trying to learn to laugh at myself and stop trying so hard. Shush, literary snob. Maybe it’s time for you to stop being such a perfectionist, too!

So, in the spirit of laughing and learning…

I am going to add Goodreads to my blog in the next few days. You can also follow me to see what I am reading and read any reviews I decide to make. Fair warning, I haven’t kept up with it lately so it’s a little outdated. I’m going to get back into it, though.

In the meantime, I just started listening to Unspoken by C.C. Hunter, from the Shadow Falls: After Dark series. It’s the third book in the series, and as YA fantasy sagas go, it’s not too bad. It has all your usual YA components: crappy parents, love triangles, and a bit of mystery. I could do without the love triangle bit, but I suppose it sells. Every YA author wants their own Team Jacob vs. Team Edward component. And I guess if I am honest, I have already chosen a side, although I am not laughing at myself enough to admit which one just yet. 😉

I’m also waiting impatiently to read Glass Sword by Victoria Aveyard. It’s the second book in the Red Queen series, and I’ve had it on hold at the library for 3 weeks. I don’t really want to say anything else about it right now, though, because that will just make me even more impatient. Good news – I’m next in line!

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